Learn, Accept, Embrace & Celebrate You
Hello and Happy Wednesday Wisdom.
I’m so happy that you’re here. Here’s what I want to say, thank you for being here, thank you for joining us again, and thank you for honoring yourself enough to show up. And what I mean by that is each time you’re here on Wednesday Wisdom, what you were communicating to yourself is you are valuable and that’s what we’re talking about today. You are valuable, you knowing your value.
And one of the ways that you can communicate your value to yourself is by making self-honoring choices. So, as I was saying, each time you show up, you are communicating to yourself that you matter, and that you honor yourself enough to come and receive the wisdom that’s available for you to advance your life, to move your life forward, to make certain that the life that you’re living is the life that you want and live, so that you in actuality every day are taking a step in the direction of saying, I can be happy, I can be wholly fulfilled, I can live the life of my dreams and desires. That’s what you’re saying when you show up here.
So I just want to take a moment and go [Claps].
So there’s a new set today, right? So usually you see me, I’m in a different part of the home office and I decided today to try something different. So give me a comment. Tell me if you like this set better or the other set better, I want to know. I hope you like this one better because I think I might like it better, but you decide, I’m here to support you and I want to make sure that what you’re looking at is pleasing to you not just what you’re hearing. Okay?
So today is a very special day because if you take, remember, I say, each time we’re together, my love, my self-honoring choice is to communicate wisdom to you so that you can take it, a bite size piece of it, apply it to your life and move your life forward.
And the wisdom that we’re talking about today is the wisdom of knowing your value. And if you take nothing else from any of the Wisdom Wednesdays prior or forward, this is the Jewel that continuously gives to your life in a way that there’s nothing else to compare it to, because once you know your value, everything changes.
So I want to start by reading a portion from 44 hours & 21 minutes: A Woman’s Truth and Power. It’s on page 108 and it reads, Learning the value of yourself is absolutely the best and most precious gift you can ever give to yourself. I invite you to take the time to learn yourself. If I did it, you can do it too. If you’re willing to learn your value, to be open to the possibility, just open to the possibility that you’re the prize, your life will change in ways that are currently unimaginable. When you know you’re the prize, so, first you’re going to just imagine that you’re the prize, and once you know your value and declare that you are the prize, then your standards and qualifications become a blueprint for creating the life that you want. That’s a lot to unpack.
So in the description today, it says, until you know your value, then the real happiness that await you isn’t even possible. And how do I mean that? And how does that tie into what I just read to you, beautifully of course, but this is how it really ties into you. Your value, the way that you show up in your life, the way you allow others to treat you, the way you treat yourself, all communicates how you see yourself, everything. And to those that know their value, you can’t hide it. You can’t pretend, you can’t pretend because you may have a lot of nice things, you may wear nice clothes, you may have a nice home and a nice car. And if you don’t know your value, it is so apparent. It is so subtle. Every choice that you’re making communicates you don’t know your value.
So how do you learn your value? How do you sit with yourself head up, shoulders back, every step, making a self-honoring choice? How do you do that and know your value if your life hasn’t been the life that you wanted it? If you overcome sexual trauma, if you are in a bad relationship right now, if you are financially suffering right now, if you aren’t feeling like you’re living the life that you know that you are capable of living, or if you don’t even know you’re capable, but you yearn for something different, how do you know your value if that’s your life or how do you know your value if everything has been given to you and from, you are one of those who are financially fortify throughout your life, so your whole life becomes an external representation of you, how do you know your real value?
You know your real value by your self-honor. You know your real value by how you treat yourself. You know your real value by how you allow others to treat you.
So here it goes. Once upon a time, I was a girl, woman who on the exterior, everything looked really great. And I thought, if you were to ask me, do you know your value? I would have said, yes. If we were in a room and the question posed was everyone who knows their value, raise your hand. I would have raised both of my hands. Of course, I know my value; not so, not accurate at all. And my whole life was a reflection of that because sometime I would treat myself well and other times I would treat myself not so well, because as I shared with you before, as written in 44 hours & 21 minutes, we are all byproducts of our conditioning.
So as you were being raised, if it was told to you, if you were treated haphazardly, or if you were told things that didn’t make you feel valuable, you know that is a part of your blueprint, and that is a part of your conditioning, and that is how you treat yourself, unless you have excavated, examined and released your familial and societal conditioning. So, you know your value by how you treat yourself.
So when I was a girl who sometime kept my word to myself, other times not kept my word to myself, then I would beat myself up for not doing it, for not keeping my word to myself. I would beat myself up for not keeping my word to other people. I didn’t know my value. I would allow people to refer to me however they wanted to refer to me because I would say, Oh, it doesn’t matter what they say, it only matters what I think. In part that’s true, but not actually in totality. I wouldn’t voice my opinion about certain things because I thought, Oh, it doesn’t matter, it’s okay, I’ll let it pass. So I was silencing myself because I didn’t know my value.
So do any of you do that? Do any of you know that? I so appreciate when things come in on chat and I get to look. Yes, that’s right. MC Anthony, “Do not let others put you on the clearance rack.” That is great. That is absolutely great. Do not let anyone put you on the clearance rack. I so appreciate that. So don’t let anyone put you on the clearance rack.
So here it goes. How does that change? How did I change that? And before I tell you, I want to share a story. I think I’ve told you this before. I was out with some girlfriends and before we live in this space that we live in now and I pulled in the front of the restaurant and I was leaving the car for the valet to take the car. And the valet attended said, where would you like me to park the car? Question, but, okay, and I said, well right here in front. So as we looked in front, there were these super-duper fancy cars, right? I have a nice car, but there’s were super-duper fancy cars. And so one of my girlfriends said, are you sure you really want them to park the car there? Of course, I want them to park the car there. So valet parks the car there.
And then we walk into the restaurant and I excuse myself to go to the ladies room. And when I come back, my girlfriends are still standing there and I’m curious, like, why haven’t they gotten the table? And so one of the girlfriends said, well, we didn’t get the table because you’re so particular, she said, no one wanted the responsibility of picking the table that you didn’t like because you’re so picky. Now these are my girlfriends. These are close girlfriends.
And when she said that, in the past, I would have said, Oh, I’m not picky or I may have even been offended by her comment. But this time when she said it, it was refreshing. And I said, I wouldn’t refer to myself as picky. I would refer to myself as someone who has preferences and I’m more than happy to pick the table as I usually do. And I’ll explain my preferences when we get to the table. So you can next time, when I go to the lady room, pick the table that I’m going to like.
And so we all got a big laugh of that, that evening when I was writing in my journal, it was such a beautiful expression to me that I had learned my value enough not to be rude, but to realize that I do have preferences. So I don’t like to sit at a table that’s near the busing station, that’s close to the restroom or that’s at any main point of traffic where I’m sitting, because who I’m sitting with I want to give my attention and my focus to them.
And that’s just a little way of knowing your value, understanding that you are always at a choice point to communicate your value. Now let’s talk about keeping your word to yourself or how other people keep their word or not keep their word to you.
If I tell myself something now and I don’t do it, I always communicate lovingly to myself. So another example, this morning I got up at my usual early morning time. And then I went back in the bed to have prayer with my husband and I decided I wanted to take a little nap. Well, I got up 25 minutes later with that little nap. In the past, I would have beat myself up and tell myself all kinds of things like you’re not responsible, how dare you do that? I would have said not nice things to myself. Instead, this morning, I said, as I looked in the mirror, I so love and appreciate you and that extra 25 minutes felt really good and we’re going to make sure that you accomplish everything that you need to accomplish today. I looked at myself, I said, again, I love you and then I went on about my morning.
When you are honoring yourself by knowing your value, you are giving every person in your life permission to honor you. And when you don’t honor yourself, you are giving permission to every person not to honor you.
So you are your gatekeeper. You are your teacher, you teach others how to treat you. It is by the way that you are responding to your life and showing up for yourself that determines your value and even in any relationship, how you regard yourself, how you address yourself, how you look at yourself. Are you with me?
I see some more comments coming in. Okay. So this is a message from PB & J that’s a little quote for one of my, she’s just a love in my life. So thank you very much for that. Okay.
So technology happens, right? I just grabbed the phone and I’m going to finish thing what I was saying because I want to make sure that you have the bite sized piece that you can take away with you today.
And the bite size piece is as you’re going through this day today, be very mindful. We talked about it on Monday in mindful Monday. Be very mindful of how you’re thinking about you, how you’re talking to you and how you’re allowing others to treat you. Let today be the day that you declare, I’m going to learn my value, I’m going to live the life that I desire to live, I’m going to accept absolutely that I’m the prize. That’s what you want to do.
So today, tomorrow, and every day here after, learn your value and you learn your value by how you’re treating yourself and then teach others to value you by modeling the behavior, living the life of a person that values himself, herself. You can do it. If I did it, you absolutely can do it. Okay?
I apologize for the technology glitch, things happen and [Kiss] you know what I want you to do, grab it, put it in your heart and keep it there. Bye for now.